Croatia--Split and Dubrovnik and squid ink

Some people think we're a bit crazy. Sure, we've lived in Europe for 4 years and haven't made it to Rome yet, but we decided to hit up many of the countries in the former Yugoslavia. I reference Yugoslavia because that was how I learned about it in school. Sarah had never even heard the term, even though she knew the key exports of all the countries at issue and beat the snot out of me at  a European Capitals game. 

So, why go to Croatia? Well, here's the ocean at our hotel in Split. (We stayed at the Le Meridien. Their motto should be "For when you want to visit a foreign country, but don't want to actually experience any local culture!")

We flew on EasyJet, which had kind of freaked us out, but it turned out to be a rather pleasant flight. The only real problem was that Croatia had just joined the European Union 3 weeks prior and, as such, had new immigration policies in place, and so going through passport control was a bit tedious because they still weren't set up to handle it efficiently. But, all was well and we went off to our hotel and fell into bed. The next day we spent at the beach and seeing Split.

Our room had a harbor view so all the yachts were parked right outside our window. If you have a spare 3.8 million Euros, I  know where you can get a great boat. Yachting will, apparently, solve all your problems. This one, for instance, was purchased in place of getting a prescription filled: 

Personally, I cannot blame the person. It's a tad more expensive than a prescription and therapy, but infinitely cooler. Although, after watching the people who lived on their yachts, we determined that yachting involves wearing very little clothes. As everyone prefers to see us fully clothed, it's probably not the best lifestyle choice for us.

We spent Thursday afternoon wandering around Split's old city. It had the requisite old Catholic church and a bunch of cruise ships. And these: 

If you're eyes are like mine, try squinting to see that that's a Yugo. Remember those? The disposable cars! Well, they lasted in Croatia (and Montenegro and Bosnia as well). We saw tons of them. Who knew?

Friday, we got up and ate a gluttonous hotel breakfast. (Yeah, my favorite deadly sin!) And then we spent some time at the beach, where I got a spa treatment from two under aged workers. I guess employment law differs in Croatia.

Then we headed down the coast to Dubrovnik. This is a town I didn't even know existed until we started planning this trip. Of course, I didn't know most of the towns we visited existed until we planned our trip. And now, after being home, there are many that I've already forgotten. I blame my lacking language skills.

Dubrovnik has a beautiful old city with a walled fortress around it. We paid a few Kuhna's for the privilege of walking the two kilometer circuit around the top of the wall. It was about a million degrees out and no shade, since you're at the top of the wall, but still totally awesome because we were able to lock the children up, here:

Ha! Don't they look so forlorn? They should. We had planned a lovely day in peace and quiet with them safely locked away, but, alas, they escaped. That and we would have missed them.

There was also a pirate ship you could sail on, but we're cheap and hate to do the same thing the tourists do. In fact, Jason spent half the day saying how he could never take a cruise because you never get to do any of the cool things, and the other half of the day standing in line behind people from cruise ships. He does not see the irony in this at all. 

In Dubrovnik we also had squid ink for dinner. And by we, I mean Jason. I did try one forkful because, well, you have to. It was good, but the idea still skeeved me out. 

And when you think of eating squids, remember that the only part of a squid that is hard is it's beak, so if you're being chased by a squid, if it can find a crack big enough to get its beak through, it can squeeze it's entire body through and eat you. That's what I think of squids.

Dubrovnik was lovely except for this man who was playing an instrument that was so annoying that I'm not sure why they haven't made it required for 3rd grade music class. Seriously? Has anyone's child ever made anything of themselves based on that infernal recorder that 3rd graders in all cultures have to learn? Anyone? No. 

You clicked on it, didn't you? Your own fault, I tell you. I wonder if his parents paid for those lessons. I only recorded 12 seconds worth, but I promise you, there wasn't anything you missed. Other than that, as I said, Dubrovnik and Split were lovely. The grocery stores in Croatia were well stocked and had a wider variety than in Switzerland and the food was delicious. And look how happy and cute Jason and I look, even though we're old people now.

Merry Christmas 2012

It's Christmas day and I haven't written the annual Christmas letter yet. So, while Jason and the kids are out skiing (we do live in Switzerland), I thought I better write the annual letter. Jason cautioned me to keep it just to the facts and not try for humor. I guess he's been traveling so much that he's forgotten that the facts about our family are humorous.

So, as I am an obedient, subservient kind of a wife (only the truth in this letter), here are true things that happened this year. No embellishments and no attempts to be funny. Only real stories. Think of it as a documentary about the Lucas Family:

January

Jason gets to visit the inside of a Turkish Emergency Room, after he was bitten by a stray dog. The medical person who gave him his rabies shot, smokes a cigarette while performing the injection.

I receive this text from Jason, after a transatlantic flight: The woman next to me put deodorant on multiple times during the flight. Roll-on.

A visit to the Basel zoo results in a penguin trying to eat my bag

I wake up in the morning to find the toilet seat on the bathroom floor. It was on the toilet when I went to sleep the night before. I'm pretty sure nobody broke in, ripped the toilet seat off the toilet and left, locking the door behind him. So, three possibilities: Daniel, Sarah, or I've started sleep toilet destroying.

Jason attends a big sales conference that included a lot of alcohol. One of his employees (who undoubtedly had been drinking) said to him, "Your wife can be secure--with those tablecloth shirts you wear you'll never hook up."

February

In another example of my gracefulness, I manage to super glue my hand to Daniel's stroller.

Best FHE activity ever--we took the lost sock basket and had a contest for who could match the most socks. 51 pairs matched. About 15 unmatched socks left over.

Sarah and I talking, after she got home from ski camp:
Me: I'm so happy to have you home!
Sarah: I miss ski camp

March

Suzanne took a Facebook break and therefore, recorded no events.

April

Daniel asks the following question: When I was a prophet, why did the King throw me into the lions? Are lions my friends?

Jason gets pulled over by the police--on his bike. They even said, "Step away from the bike!" 2 Police officers, they tested his bell to make sure it worked and gave him a 30 Frank ticket for riding his bike in the wrong area.

We have a religious conversation with Daniel:
Daniel: what happens to dead people?
Me: their spirits go live with Heavenly Father and their bodies are buried in the ground
Jason: or burned
Daniel: or they can grow a beard!

May

Daniel turns 4!

Jason has a rat run across his feet in the Mumbai airport. He ponders burning his shoes.

We add a new member to our family: A floor vacuuming robot.

June

Sarah super glues her feet together

Our Family Home Evening lesson on the gifts of the spirit devolves into a discussion of brain squishing.

July

Sarah quote: I'm one half fish, one half mountain marmot, and one half monkey. I realize the math doesn't work on that, but since when can fish add?

We visit the US and introduce the children to Pop Tarts. This results in the following question from Sarah: What exactly are you supposed to do with Pop Tarts? Just eat them straight or what?

August

Sarah turns 9!

We go for a walk around a local cemetery. Have the following conversation with Daniel:

Daniel: We should buy our own cemetery.

Jason: What would we do with our own cemetery?

Daniel: Put dead people in it.

Jason: Where would we get dead people?

Daniel: In old houses.

Jason: Are there dead people in old houses?

Daniel: Yes.

Jason: And what are they doing?

Daniel: Just lying there with their arms out. (demonstrates) Some have their tongues out. They just lay there until the cemetery workers come to get them.

A news report comes out that says men, when stressed at work, prefer fatter women. I immediately begin eating in order to make Jason's life better.

September:

Sarah successfully convinces gym teacher that gym clothes are against our religion. Busted by principal who thinks to ask me about our religion.

Daniel makes a craft at school. It's a bomb that "makes the enemies get dead.” Because we live in Switzerland rather than the US, the teacher realizes that cardboard is unlikely to kill anyone and simply teaches him the German word for bomb.

October:

Jason texts me to ask if I want a Harry Potter Snuggie.

Sarah, in a fit of fiery indignation because she's being forced to go out with the rest of us: You just want me to be a part of this family!

November:

Daniel learns a Swiss German word that means a man who is being obnoxious while peeing.

We carve turnips, put candles inside them and go to parade of turnips.

December:

Jason has a dentist appointment. When he arrives they handed him scrubs to change into. "This is different," he thought. Then they opened a changing room for him, where he was greeted by another patient (male) wearing only underpants. "You can just change with him!" says the receptionist cheerily.

Merry (late) Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love

Jason, Suzanne, Sarah, Daniel and the robot.

Merry Christmas 2011

Liebe Familie und Freunde,

I want you all to note the use of German words in the greeting of this letter. This is because we now all speak fluent German. Or rather, we can say important German phrases such as, “Wo ist die toilette?” (Where is the bathroom?), and “Ich möchte bitte mehr Schoggi essen.”(I would like, please, to eat more chocolate.) This one is actual a bonus statement because Schoggi is actually Swiss German, so you can see that we have learned two new languages.

After 2.5 years we still love living in the heart of Europe. We take advantage of this as much as we can and travel as much as possible. This year we visited Portugal, where Suzanne's parents are serving a mission, Germany, the Czech Republic, Italy, and Greece. (During the riots! We have great timing.) We are looking forward to spending Christmas in Israel.

Jason should get some sort of award for his multiple trans-atlantic flights this year. He flew the equivalent of 8.5 times around world. He also managed to stay in 60 different Starwood hotels this year. That's not 60 nights, mind you, that's 60 different hotels from one chain. He's still pushing drugs for Novartis (well, diagnostic testing now) and likes to cackle about how the sun never sets on his empire since he now has employees in California and India. Or rather, he would cackle about that if he could see straight through all the jet lag.

Suzanne wrote 4,786 blog posts and chatted with 9743 people, none of them who were in our house. In doing this, she managed to wear out multiple computers. (Daniel may have helped with that.) She also declared war on mismatched socks, although this was unsuccessful. She did fulfill a lifelong dream of being published in Reader's Digest.

Sarah (8) is the one person in the family who can claim she speaks German. She won the role of the Evil Queen in Schneewittchen (Snow White) in her school production. After the performance, one of the German teachers said to Sarah's German teacher, “I didn't know all your kids were native speakers.” In addition to speaking German, Sarah reads like a fiend and hides things under her bed. In a feat yet to be explained by science, she can actually fit more things under her bed than can otherwise physically fit in her bedroom. Sarah was baptized this summer.

Daniel (3) loves science. His experiments this year include, “What happens when you put socks in the pickle jar” and “if you coat the bathtub in toothpaste, will that prevent cavities?” Daniel attends Forest School, which is a fabulous thing where toddlers go to the woods for 4 hours, rain or shine, and play with saws. This is not an exaggeration at all. They also roast their own hotdogs over an open fire.

We hope you are doing well, and have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Liebe Grüsse,

Jason, Suzanne, Sarah and Daniel

Merry Christmas!

Christmas 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

It's not that we don't love you. We're just e-mailing this because we're lazy and cheap. Do you know how much it costs to mail a Christmas card from Switzerland? Of course you don't, and, in reality, neither do we because we're too lazy to go to the post office and ask.

We've been in Switzerland for almost two years now and we hope to stay here a long time. The country is beautiful, the people are fabulous, and the chocolate and cheese are delicious. Plus, being in the heart of Europe, we have travel opportunities that we wouldn't have in America.

And speaking of travel, here is a little update on our lives.

Jason spent most of the year on the road. Or, rather, in the air. This year he visited France, Germany, Holland, Belgium, Lichtenstein, Italy, Brazil, Argentina, Mexico, America, Uruguay, Canada, Panama, Austria, Mongolia and China. He managed to avoid eating goat head (he thinks), and more importantly asked numerous doctors about important pharmaceutical products. It's fun to travel with Jason because he's Mr. Gold Frequent Flier so he gets to check bags for free.

Suzanne did not go to nearly so many places. This is okay because she is much more wimpy about new countries. She did begin a new job with CBS writing a career advice column. Yes, that's right. She gives career advice while sitting on the couch wearing her bathrobe. We find it amusing as well. She's also busy being in the Relief Society Presidency, taking German classes and running children all over town.

Sarah (7) climbed a 10,000 foot mountain with just Dad. She gained the nickname Mountain Marmot in the process. (Reet, reet! She says) She even convinced the rest of us to visit Marmot Paradise (really), which just so happens to be in Switzerland. She's enjoying school and is the top reader in her class. Our Swiss friends say that Sarah pronounces German like a native. She enjoys swimming lessons and can't wait for Tae Kwon Do to be over.

Daniel (2) is the happiest little destroyer you'll ever meet. His cheery disposition lulls you into a sense of carnal security, which you are rudely awakened from when your laptop is found swimming in apple juice. Daniel is responsible for keeping the economy floating by ruining two laptops this year, prompting his mother to have to buy new ones. He loves Thomas the Tank Engine and plays with his trains all the time. He also enjoys drawing and pulling his sister's hair.

We hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Love,

The Lucas Family
Jason, Suzanne, Sarah and Daniel

Daniel says, "I won't do that and you can't make me"

Music, Swiss Style

I took this picture at the August 1st celebration in Basel, which is actually held on July 31. We didn't stay for the fireworks because I'm mean and wanted the kids to actually sleep that night. They don't start the fireworks until after 11:00 which I think is ridiculous.

Sarah'a Birthday Cake

Sarah did most of the decorating of this cake by herself. I made the sun, though. I know the limits of my talents. She turns 7 on Sunday. Happy birthday to her.